Tik...Tok, and there we go!
We were expecting our first baby in October 2019!
We were overjoyed! It was indeed the most beautiful day of our lives, filled with immense happiness and joy. I still remember his tiny movements. Whenever I ate anything he liked, sent his taste buds dancing. I can never forget whenever I was happy and joyous, how he would accompany me in my happiness, and beautifully move inside me, and when I was sad, I could feel his movements respond. How beautifully a mother's emotions are connected to her little one! Just absolutely incredible and true!
We were ecstatic for our baby to be in our lives soon! Soon we would be able to hold him, hug him, kiss him and love him for he is the apple of our eyes. Finally, that unforgettable day arrived when our baby had to deliver!
We did not think normal delivery would be a good option for numerous reasons, keeping in mind the detailed discussion with our OB. Therefore, we opted for a c-section. "She will need special care after her surgery, as it would be major surgery. The post-surgical care is essential after major surgeries." Doctor said.
My heart skipped a beat. As my husband who is a Physician himself would have to prepare to make sure everything goes well before, during, and after surgery. Most girls who undergo c-section count on their mothers to look after them and the baby until they are fit enough to do so themselves. Sadly, I was living miles away from my mother. My husband applied for his paternal leave. In July 2020, our most handsome baby boy, Mulhim Laeeq was born by the grace of Almighty!
I experienced very unique emotions that day. Every mother experiences tremendous and deep emotions after childbirth. Initially, I could not even hold him, my body was in pain, and I was unable to move without feeling extreme pain. The Doctor placed my baby on my chest and at that very moment, my entire life changed and the love I felt at that moment was truly unlike anything I have ever felt. His tiny hands and deep eyes, I can still sense.
After this life-altering event, I realized how beautiful and unique are the emotions of a mother. I missed my mom a lot, perhaps the most that day. I learned how it feels to be a mother. My husband and I were all alone taking care of the baby. The post-c section healing was extremely painful. Even moving a single step was excruciating, especially when you have lost a tremendous amount of blood. I missed my mom with every painful cry. I recalled how my mother and father used to feel my pain even with a tiny bump or bruise, and they would run towards me. And now, Standing here, I missed them, bleeding heavily, with stitches inside and outside my body, when even my single step was giving me pain, I felt the distance, I felt their pain, and I felt their absence. I am thankful to my husband. He did help me immensely during this time, and motherhood gave me courage. My baby made all the pain worthwhile. Life with a caring and understanding life partner is beautiful. I am grateful to have a caring and cute little family.
Nevertheless, pain tells you about your loyal relationships and their hearts. There will be close relations who will feel your pain, and there will be people who won't. The people who do not care about you in pain don't tell you about your worth, it speaks louder about their hearts. I must say: "A person who lacks empathy; lacks compassion towards humanity" and my message to all new Mommas out there: "Don't be ashamed of your body marks, you hold a battle scar of bringing life in this world, God chose you to experience His most beautiful blessing: Motherhood."
Don't worry when people tell you that you're not doing a great job being a mom; you being a mom, know better about your baby than anyone else. Don't listen to the unkind and unsolicited advice given to belittle you. Enjoy every moment of motherhood; It's precious.
Mahrukh Mustansar and Laeeq Butt are founder of DocN'Bake. Ms. Mustansar is a Ph.D. scholar with major concentration areas in Social Psychology, Peace Psychology, Conflict Resolution, and Political Philosophy. She is an author of a poetry book: Resonance of the Souls.